Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Truly Dodged a Bullet

This is an example of when I should have listened to my first reaction and NOT given a second chance.  Paul first contacted me several days ago.  He told me he like my profile and felt like we were looking for the same things.  I was so relieved that he sounded like a nice, normal, level headed person that I really didn't read his profile all the way through.  Had I read it I never would have replied at all.
The second e-mail he sent he mentioned going to see WWE Raw.  He made a joke about his "white trash" taste in television.  I responded saying (jokingly) that I'd never judge someone's taste in TV as long as he didn't think Linda McMahon would have made a great senator.  This should have been my first clue as to what was to come.  He jumped to Linda's defense and bashed Blumenthal.  Now I respect opposing views but since I don't agree with this guy I figure the best thing to do would be to ignore him.  When I didn't write back, he wrote again the following day changing the subject.  I still had nothing to say so I wrote a simple "hope you had fun at WWE".  He wrote back asking to exchange numbers.  At this point I decided to revisit his profile.  This is when I read the following;
"I am not a fan of Obama, Pelosi, Reid, Soros, Gore or any other delusional progressive morons.  I am also a faithful Catholic.  If you don't believe in God then we don't have much in common." According to his profile he also hates country music.
Upon reading this I decided this guy was WAAAAY too conservative for my taste.  I don't discuss politics or religion on dates but if this guy feels so strongly then eventually it would cause friction.
I wrote to him, to be fair as I hate when guys just start ignoring me with no apparent reason.  I basically stated the following;

Hi Paul,
In reading your profile further, I really don't think we have much in common.  I have very liberal views in all aspects of life.  I also believe in living a spiritual life, but am not a religious person.  I repect all views and beliefs and believe in simply living a good honest life.  And I love country music.  I wish you all the best.

The response I received was this;

"Sad that you are a liberal, wish you would wake up from the fog that "everything should be equal" is somehow a realistic idea.  Here's a clue sweetheart, the whole Obama ideology of everyone should be equal is DUMB.  If life was equal, what the **** do we need a food chain for?"

Since he sent this earlier this evening, he has since changed his profile headline to read "no liberals please!"  Good riddance!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Another One Bites the Dust

The one promising prospect i have found so far on POF has jumped ship.  He is a teacher and part time DJ, and we are looking for the same thing.  We've been e-mailing back and forth for a couple days.  Things have been going well, he didn't seem like a creep or that he would send me any inappropriate photos.  I decided to take initiative and send my personal e-mail and phone number.  A couple days later and no response.  Tonight I logged into POF and looked to check the e-mail had been sent.  He did not appear in my inbox, outbox, or in the user search.  Looks to me like he's off the site.  I can't help but wonder if I scared him off.  A simple no thanks will do.  This just proves once again that if I think someone is too good to be true, they usually are.

Monday, April 11, 2011

I am like a yo-yo with this stuff.

I guess I just like the punishment.  Here I am fully engrossed in round 3 with Plenty of Fish.  The freak parade is in full swing.  I'm being hit on by just about every type of person except the kind I'm looking for.  Here is an excerpt from my profile;
I am a very laid back, fun loving girl. It's been a while since I've been in a relationship. I'm looking for someone who is willing to date, see where it goes and if all the stars align a long term commitment would be great. I am not into playing games, so if you have a wife or girlfriend please look elsewhere. I am also not here just to "hook up". I want to get to know you first! 

Apparently this leads guys to write things to me like:

Woah baby you are adorable.
Hi there cutie stuff.
Hey baby, what are you doing tonight?

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Yertle part 2

A week and a half went by since I sent Tim the goodbye e-mail, and I received his response.  I figured if I did not respond to his request for a second chance, my silence would speak volumes.  Just today I was thinking what a relief it was that he let it go, and did not respond.  I jinxed myself.  As I was eating my dinner at work, I got a text message from Tim.  He reiterated what he said in his e-mail and again asked for a second chance.  I pondered a response carefully.  If silence didn't work before I wouldn't now.  I responded saying, I just felt like there were many reasons we would not work out.  Sorry.  As I was getting home tonight I got a text again from Tim.  It said, "Hi Allison, is it the distance?".  Ugh.  I had to restrain myself from responding with one of my typical useless facts.  Hey, Tim, did you know Connecticut is the third smallest state in the country?  So, no distance is not an issue.  I have wanted to spare him the brutal truth of; we have no chemistry, we have nothing to talk about, your date night conversation depressed me, and you don't like to do anything!  So I have sent my reply of "I just don't wish to pursue a relationship".  Part of me (a small part) feels a little bad that I didn't go on that second date.  Perhaps he would have been ok.. but a larger part of me feels like my instincts with him were right on.  A little voice inside me said to run, so I am or at least I'm trying.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Yertle (the turtle)

November was my last official month of  I don't know why I chose to subscribe for the month, but being a glutton for punishment I did.  The only prospect I had during the month of November was Tim.  He e-mailed me a few times.  To be blunt, he seemed quite dull.  There were a few factors at play here.  1) The holidays were drawing near, and no one wants to be lonely at the holidays.  2) He was the only guy to write me during the entire month, and I did not want to waste my $34.99!  I had contacted numerous guys, to no avail.. so Tim was it.  I gave him my AOL e-mail so he could write to me once my subscription expired.  He wrote once or twice, but I really didn't get to know much about him.  Once my Match membership expired, I was not able to find his profile again.  So, when he began talking about a date, I figured I had to find out his basic info.  I could hardly remember what he looked like, let alone his interests.  I guess this tells us the kind of impression he made!  Anyway, I managed to find him on Facebook and sent a friend request so I could snoop on his info. 
We arranged to meet Dec. 23rd after I got out of work.  He suggested Ruby Tuesday in Cromwell as a mutual meeting point.  He is 31 (but looks 41), average height and build, with light colored receding hair.  Not bad looking, but nothing about him would stand out in a crowd.  He dressed very conservatively (not the type I usually go for).  We met, sat down for dinner and not a heck of  a lot happened.  Conversation was bland, he didn't get my jokes (I really wanted to lighten the mood) and about all we had in common was that we both like cats.  He proceeded to tell me a story about when his cat got sick and he had to have him put down.  Now THAT is fun date conversation.  I was much relieved when he seemed eager to get out of there.  He paid for dinner (points to Tim), and he walked me to my car (more points).  Now nothing that happened during dinner led me to believe he was going to kiss me goodnight.  He certainly didn't seem the forward type (and I wouldn't have been surprised to discover he was a virgin).  Well, I thanked him for dinner and attempted a friendly (but not too friendly) hug, when he leaned in and kissed me.  I was so stunned I just stood rigid with my mouth clamped shut.  I guess he didn't notice my reaction.  I was not even home yet, when he sent me a text saying he couldn't wait to see me again.  When I didn't respond right away, he went on Facebook.  He sent me a message there, saying he had a great time and hoped to do it again soon.  I've been on dates where I had a good time and the guy did not, but this time I totally thought it was a mutual lousy time.  I was shocked that he had such a great time, who'd know.. he certainly didn't express it during dinner!

I didn't directly answer Tim right away about going out again.  It was Christmas weekend, and life was busy.  He asked a few more times and I was friendly but evasive.  I decided that if I were to go out with him again, it had to be us doing a fun activity together.  However I knew nothing about what he liked to do.  All he talked about when we were together was what he used to do.  I went back to e-mailing with the get to know you type questions.  I wasn't getting too far with making a decision on what we both liked to do.  He kept asking me over and over whether or not I was a romantic.  I answered maybe 3 different ways, I don't know if he ever got an answer he liked!  Finally one night he e-mailed me asking if I thought he'd kissed me too soon.  I explained that I am not offended by kissing on the first date, IF it fits the tone of the evening, and if two people have great chemistry.  I added that he caught me off guard because I didn't think our evening had gone that well, and he didn't strike me as the kind of guy who moves that fast.  His reply was nothing short of baffling.  He responded by telling me that he "agreed our kiss fit the tone of our evening, because we had such great conversation, a great meal, and it was short, sweet and perfect".  What?  What date was he on?  Maybe he has me confused with someone else.  Anyway, I decided he was too hard to communicate with.  He was clearly not paying attention to what I had to say.  Perhaps this is why he kept repeating the same questions?  I stopped writing to him, only to have him write me once more asking when I was free to go out again.  When I did not respond in a day or two, he tried Facebook, and when I did not respond to that within hours, he tried texting.  I got so fed up, I finally drafted a good bye e-mail to him last Weds.  I simply stated that I didn't think we were a match, but I was sure he'd find someone great.. good luck.  The next morning, I got an e-mail back from Tim.  He said that he would like me to give him a second chance, and he would show me what a great match we are.  Yikes.  I will update if I ever hear more.  I have chosen not to respond. 

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Done "fishing" for now.

In the wake of last week's POF incident, I have taken down my profile on the site.  Of course I have done that before only to reinstate it at a later date.  You know me, just a glutton for punishment.  I am keeping up my latest profile for now.  Things are moving slowly on there at the moment.  There are so many tales I have yet to share that I've got stashed away.  I can keep everyone entertained for a while yet! 

Thursday, November 11, 2010 again

A few weeks ago, I took down my long standing profile.  I'd used the same one for 5-6 years now.  Same screen name, same pics (some new some old), same write up.  I'd canceled it last month for good.  I finally just decided to erase it all together, and start fresh.  I am always the optimist, so I thought maybe an all new profile would do me some good.  I started all over, new pics, new screen name, and newer, simpler write up.  It's been a couple of weeks and I've not met anyone new.  Actually a bunch of the same guys I'd either talked to, or rejected in the past are giving the "new me" a chance.  Too funny, I guess I should not have expected different.  But it's worth giving it another month.  As always, at least I'll get some good stories out of it.  I also have to thank Sarah and Dave for going through with me Monday night and helping me "wink" at some new guys.  It's fun to get someone else's opinion.  Of course it's also always fun to pick out the weirdos and laugh at them too!  I had a blast.