Saturday, January 22, 2011

Yertle part 2

A week and a half went by since I sent Tim the goodbye e-mail, and I received his response.  I figured if I did not respond to his request for a second chance, my silence would speak volumes.  Just today I was thinking what a relief it was that he let it go, and did not respond.  I jinxed myself.  As I was eating my dinner at work, I got a text message from Tim.  He reiterated what he said in his e-mail and again asked for a second chance.  I pondered a response carefully.  If silence didn't work before I wouldn't now.  I responded saying, I just felt like there were many reasons we would not work out.  Sorry.  As I was getting home tonight I got a text again from Tim.  It said, "Hi Allison, is it the distance?".  Ugh.  I had to restrain myself from responding with one of my typical useless facts.  Hey, Tim, did you know Connecticut is the third smallest state in the country?  So, no distance is not an issue.  I have wanted to spare him the brutal truth of; we have no chemistry, we have nothing to talk about, your date night conversation depressed me, and you don't like to do anything!  So I have sent my reply of "I just don't wish to pursue a relationship".  Part of me (a small part) feels a little bad that I didn't go on that second date.  Perhaps he would have been ok.. but a larger part of me feels like my instincts with him were right on.  A little voice inside me said to run, so I am or at least I'm trying.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Yertle (the turtle)

November was my last official month of  I don't know why I chose to subscribe for the month, but being a glutton for punishment I did.  The only prospect I had during the month of November was Tim.  He e-mailed me a few times.  To be blunt, he seemed quite dull.  There were a few factors at play here.  1) The holidays were drawing near, and no one wants to be lonely at the holidays.  2) He was the only guy to write me during the entire month, and I did not want to waste my $34.99!  I had contacted numerous guys, to no avail.. so Tim was it.  I gave him my AOL e-mail so he could write to me once my subscription expired.  He wrote once or twice, but I really didn't get to know much about him.  Once my Match membership expired, I was not able to find his profile again.  So, when he began talking about a date, I figured I had to find out his basic info.  I could hardly remember what he looked like, let alone his interests.  I guess this tells us the kind of impression he made!  Anyway, I managed to find him on Facebook and sent a friend request so I could snoop on his info. 
We arranged to meet Dec. 23rd after I got out of work.  He suggested Ruby Tuesday in Cromwell as a mutual meeting point.  He is 31 (but looks 41), average height and build, with light colored receding hair.  Not bad looking, but nothing about him would stand out in a crowd.  He dressed very conservatively (not the type I usually go for).  We met, sat down for dinner and not a heck of  a lot happened.  Conversation was bland, he didn't get my jokes (I really wanted to lighten the mood) and about all we had in common was that we both like cats.  He proceeded to tell me a story about when his cat got sick and he had to have him put down.  Now THAT is fun date conversation.  I was much relieved when he seemed eager to get out of there.  He paid for dinner (points to Tim), and he walked me to my car (more points).  Now nothing that happened during dinner led me to believe he was going to kiss me goodnight.  He certainly didn't seem the forward type (and I wouldn't have been surprised to discover he was a virgin).  Well, I thanked him for dinner and attempted a friendly (but not too friendly) hug, when he leaned in and kissed me.  I was so stunned I just stood rigid with my mouth clamped shut.  I guess he didn't notice my reaction.  I was not even home yet, when he sent me a text saying he couldn't wait to see me again.  When I didn't respond right away, he went on Facebook.  He sent me a message there, saying he had a great time and hoped to do it again soon.  I've been on dates where I had a good time and the guy did not, but this time I totally thought it was a mutual lousy time.  I was shocked that he had such a great time, who'd know.. he certainly didn't express it during dinner!

I didn't directly answer Tim right away about going out again.  It was Christmas weekend, and life was busy.  He asked a few more times and I was friendly but evasive.  I decided that if I were to go out with him again, it had to be us doing a fun activity together.  However I knew nothing about what he liked to do.  All he talked about when we were together was what he used to do.  I went back to e-mailing with the get to know you type questions.  I wasn't getting too far with making a decision on what we both liked to do.  He kept asking me over and over whether or not I was a romantic.  I answered maybe 3 different ways, I don't know if he ever got an answer he liked!  Finally one night he e-mailed me asking if I thought he'd kissed me too soon.  I explained that I am not offended by kissing on the first date, IF it fits the tone of the evening, and if two people have great chemistry.  I added that he caught me off guard because I didn't think our evening had gone that well, and he didn't strike me as the kind of guy who moves that fast.  His reply was nothing short of baffling.  He responded by telling me that he "agreed our kiss fit the tone of our evening, because we had such great conversation, a great meal, and it was short, sweet and perfect".  What?  What date was he on?  Maybe he has me confused with someone else.  Anyway, I decided he was too hard to communicate with.  He was clearly not paying attention to what I had to say.  Perhaps this is why he kept repeating the same questions?  I stopped writing to him, only to have him write me once more asking when I was free to go out again.  When I did not respond in a day or two, he tried Facebook, and when I did not respond to that within hours, he tried texting.  I got so fed up, I finally drafted a good bye e-mail to him last Weds.  I simply stated that I didn't think we were a match, but I was sure he'd find someone great.. good luck.  The next morning, I got an e-mail back from Tim.  He said that he would like me to give him a second chance, and he would show me what a great match we are.  Yikes.  I will update if I ever hear more.  I have chosen not to respond.